If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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