We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
