we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
