I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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