my mouth tastes like poor choices
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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