Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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