Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
