Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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