college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
