Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
