He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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