she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I died a long time ago.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
