i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
