Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
