so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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