I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
