that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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