Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I just ran into the couch, vagina first.

  (1-818): View more from California

  I hope you got dinner out of it

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  (818): I just ran into the couch, vagina first. (1-818): I hope you got dinner out of it http://tfl.nu/uzwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4117) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.

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  (765): I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work. http://tfl.nu/q42i
  Replies (33) Good night (5767) Bad night (2768) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I take back everything I said about communal showers

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  (865): I take back everything I said about communal showers http://tfl.nu/iybg
  Replies (5) Good night (3546) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.

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  (540): My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things. http://tfl.nu/x5j7
  Replies (3) Good night (3660) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride

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  (702): Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride http://tfl.nu/xs6r
  Replies (9) Good night (3456) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

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  (360): It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice. http://tfl.nu/ciw3
  Replies (5) Good night (2130) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

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  (978): i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food http://tfl.nu/q8kr
  Replies (7) Good night (975) Bad night (1291) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.

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  (289): Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food. http://tfl.nu/bfcw
  Replies (8) Good night (3338) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.

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  (512): He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips. http://tfl.nu/61sy
  Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

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  (316): I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/j3xl
  Replies (6) Good night (794) Bad night (1161)
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  (516): View more from New York

  We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL

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  (516): We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL http://tfl.nu/hj1k
  Replies (3) Good night (1325) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing

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  (519): Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing http://tfl.nu/fucl
  Replies (4) Good night (378) Bad night (1939) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg

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  (919): We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg http://tfl.nu/wnu9
  Replies (6) Good night (872) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be there in a few.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'M COUNTING TO FEW.

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  (814): I'll be there in a few. (717): I'M COUNTING TO FEW. http://tfl.nu/nvfq
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (156)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.

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  (863): Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house. http://tfl.nu/4quh
  Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt

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