evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
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you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.