Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
