I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
