This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
