you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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