If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
