Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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