Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
