Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
