Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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