I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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