Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
