Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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