I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize