my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this will be a night to untag.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
