is this the sara with the beer cane?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
