Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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