Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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