the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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