Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
