We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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