I just cut my nipple shaving
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
