I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
