Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Randomize
