So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
