I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize