I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
