You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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