I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
