Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
