whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize