that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
