So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
