when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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