no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
