I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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