ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
