So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
