no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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